Big Girls DO Cry!

So, yes. I have been overly emotional lately...and yesterday was no exception. However, I imagine I would have cried pregnant or not. So what happened you ask? Well, yesterday was Eden's first FULL day in Nursery w/ NO Mommy. I was planning on staying with her because I usually do, and she is not techinaly old enough till 2 weeks from now. Well, when I walked in the door...the nursery teacher said, "You can go. She's fine." So, I quickly said, "ok" and turned around to walk out because I didn't want Eden to get comfy with the idea of me being in the room. As soon as I walked out and shut the door behind me, I felt a lump in my throat starting to grow. I immediatly thought, "Find Stephanie Robertson", because I know she went through this sadness a few weeks ago with "Ambo" (Eden's name for Ambrose). Anyway, I walked half way through the church and didn't see her in any of the usual spots. Then I could feel tears begining to well in my eyes, so I immediatly started looking for a place to hide before anyone asked, "What's wrong?" which would immediatly get the water-works going. So I thought..."Hide in the Mother's room. Maybe Stefanie J is in there and she can comfort you" :-) Unfortunately the Mother's room was on the opposite side of the church from where I was at at that point. SO I had to walk quickly and avoid eye contact in the crowded hall. (People were still headed to class from after sacrament). So, I finally see the mother's room door in sight, and scoot in. Unfortunately there were no mommies in there to share my sorrows with me. So, I sat in the rocker by myself, dug through my diaper bag to find my cell phone to call my own mommy for comfort, but couldn't find it. So, Ipulled out some of Eden's books to read, as I just sat there and cried and cried to myself for a good 5 or 10 minutes (Never read the books, just sat there with them on my lap). ;-) I was thinking how rediculous I will look once someone finally walks in, and kept telling myself she's only gone for 2 hours. And who knows? She could be back with me in 10 minutes give or take a few. Or, I could easily go up there with her. It's not like she's in another country.

Well, I finally pull myself together...dab off my eyes (why did I wear mascara today...I NEVER wear mascara). And step out the door. Well, at the drinking fountain is Eden's nursery teacher and she sees me and asks "So how are you doing Matti?" Then she must have noticed my red eyes cause she said,"Are you ok?" and I said, "It's silly, but I miss Eden" and broke down into tears again in the middle of the hall. She came over gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and told me I could come up if I wanted and eat snacks with them. I told her I would be all right and that I just needed to get a little more air and walk around a little more. She gave me another hug and told me I was welcome up there if I change my mind.

So, I walked off and decided I should head to class. Jonathon wasn't in there yet, he was still making his rounds getting the teenagers to class. So, I took a seat and tried really hard not to start crying again. About 7 minutes later Jonathon walked in and asked where Eden was and I whispered "In nursery" and started crying again. Just about 6 tears or so while I laid my head on his shoulder.

Well, then I was off to relief society and explained to my friends that Eden was in Nursery and did it without any tears (my voice got a little shaky though). It was really nice though to enjoy class without trying to keep Eden quiet and entertainted, and she must have had a good time there because I didn't see her till after class.

ANYWAY, better get to moving while my cute little monkey is sleeping. Got a LOT to get done in the next 2 days. Thanks for reading my long sad story. Hopefully I will get through this a little easier next week.

P.S. She made up for the lost time last night however when she decided to wake up at 4:30 am and go back to sleep at 6:30. ;-)